"If at first you don’t succeed, try to hide your astonishment.”
– Harry F. Banks

When Ron gave his seven year old son Nick a ball and bat, Nick wanted to play a game immediately. Ron said, “Son, baseball is a serious game. You have to practice hard before you can play it.” So Nick went to the yard, threw the ball in the air, and swung at it over and over and over.
After an hour he said, “Dad, I’ve been practicing a lot. Can we play now?”

Ron said, “Show me what you can do.”

Nick threw the ball in the air, took a mighty swing, and… missed. “Strike one” he said enthusiastically. He threw the ball again and missed again. “Strike two," he yelled.

Ron said, “Concentrate, son. Remember, three strikes and you’re out.” The boy threw the ball again and swung so hard he fell to the ground after missing the ball entirely, yet again. Ron winced but Nick had a triumphant grin plastered over his face. “Son, you struck out. Why are you so happy?”

“Cause I’m REALLY good at pitching,” came the joyful reply.

(story from Michael Josephson’s wonderful newsletter, Character Counts.)

All of us smile and take delight in a story like this. “What a great kid” we say to ourselves. “What a positive self image,” we muse. And yet, when we encounter adults who have somehow managed to maintain their optimism even in the face of failure we often find them to be deluded, misguided, out of touch.

Is the adult version of Nick just a foolish guy who sees life through rose-tinted glasses and fails to ‘get what it takes’ to make it in a tough and demanding world? Should we pity him and count ourselves lucky to have our feet on the ground and possess such clarity and certainty about what really constitutes success?

Or is Nick blessed with the rare ability to choose to feel good even when he’s rowing against a very stiff wind and there is no land in sight?

While the world will not deem a strike to be a home-run nor label a failed product launch to be a success, neither will it give us points for dwelling on our failures and inhabiting a world of critique, negativism and disappointment. Nobody is inspired, intrigued or invigorated by pessimism, self doubt or unremitting frustration.

Since it is within our power to choose how we wish to react and it is not in our hands to control what succeeds and what fails, it is a much smarter strategic play to work on managing our responses to the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. So yes—work hard, don’t be satisfied with a mediocre effort and own responsibility for what didn’t work. But also, like Nick and the baseball, own the pleasure of naming your own successes – the world can not be your only arbiter of excellence. You must create your own measuring stick and stack yourself up against it with honest self appraisal and a willingness to pluck something sweet out of your own good efforts—even if nothing worked out as you had wished and the world thinks you’ve just been struck out.

The best leaders of all, the people know not they exist.
They turn to each other and say ‘We did it ourselves.’
~ Zen Saying

Dina Silver, MCC, is the Principal of Pegasus Coaching Group.

I specialize in leadership coaching working with senior executives and their teams to create great leaders and high impact groups. I have enjoyed success working with technically proficient people who need guidance in developing the interpersonal skills that are essential to effective and compelling leadership.

My background in the entertainment industry as a feature film and interactive game producer effectively assists me in helping leaders develop powerful executive presence so that ideas and challenging initiatives are met with keen interest and excitement. In order to lead, people must be excited to follow!

I have enjoyed trusted advisor status with high performance individuals, teams and organizations, coaching in high tech, entertainment, banking, and marketing.

I hold a B.A. in United States History from Princeton University. I am a Master Certified Coach (MCC) and hold my credentialing through the International Coach Federation. In addition, I am certified in a range of assessment tools including DISC and PIAV, and am an active member of Professional Coaches and Mentors Association (PCMA) and the International Coach Federation (ICF). I am married, have two teenage kids, two fat black cats and live in Santa Monica, CA.

If you are interested in learning more about how my work may be of value to you and your organization, please get in touch. I am happy to offer interested prospects a complimentary and confidential half hour coaching session so you can take me and coaching for a test drive.