Our 'scripts' are the accumulation of the dominant beliefs of our culture, of our parents-and if we're lucky, of our own careful contemplation. Our scripts shape our actions, our thoughts, our friendships, romances and our parenting. Our scripts tell us what we think is right or wrong and what behaviors we find acceptable or not. Some of our scripts work superbly for our lives, and others condemn us to repeat behaviors that mire us in disappointment and frustration.

If you are living your life with some bad scripts, then it's time for a rewrite!

Most of us don't pay much attention to the scripts we have inherited. In fact, many of us are entirely unaware that we may be running our lives based on operating systems we have unconsciously absorbed. As a result, we have no tools in place for evaluating our scripts and eliminating or rewriting the ones we don't want. Without conscious appraisal of the impact of negative or positive scripts, we just keep on keeping on, believing our 'beliefs' and living our lives according to inherited material.

Here are just a few limiting scripts that a number of my clients and friends shared with me when I told them what I was writing about this month. Though some of the expressions may seem benign, these aphorisms pack a wallop and have been complicit in limiting joy, peace, abundance and fun.

• The meek shall inherit the earth. (We all need to cultivate and appropriately express gentleness and power to create the lives we want.)
• A woman's work is never done. (Superwoman is a cartoon character. Everyone needs to recharge, ask for help and learn to say "no.")
• Business before pleasure. (Why? Why is work more important than fun? I have coached people who live by this script in its extreme. They work incessantly and giggle rarely.)
• Money is the root of all evils. (If you believe this, it will be nearly impossible for you to be comfortable making, saving and enjoying money.)
• You get what you deserve. (If your self esteem is poor and this script is imprinted, you may believe you deserve mediocre jobs, unloving partners and fair-weather friends. The truth is you deserve joy, abundance and love.)
• Good things come to those who wait. (Maybe. And good things also come to those who go after what they want.)
• If you want it done right, do it yourself. (This is a big one for so many of us. Self-reliance is a fantastic quality. But it needs to be moderated with an ability to trust that others can deliver as well.)
• "You first." (Generosity is great. Don't confuse being generous with putting yourself last all the time.)
• Don't toot your own horn. (Why is it OK to wail about your failures and miseries but unacceptable to celebrate your victories? If you're hanging out with people who are only interested in your sorrows, change your crowd and share the things that make you smile.)
• There's no such thing as a free lunch. (Buy into this line of thought and every generous soul must have an ulterior motive!)
• Never show your weakness. (How can you receive love and support if you are an impregnable fortress?)
• Never give up. (Sometimes to move on you have to give up-on a relationship, on a job, on a friend, on a dream.)
• Big boys don't cry. (Boys who aren't allowed tears can grow up to be men who are frightened of their own hearts.)
• A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. (Sometimes you have to let go of what you have in hand in order to get to where you want to go. Sometimes what you have in your hands isn't so great!)
• A penny saved is a penny earned. (I have a client who earns a great living and can't enjoy spending her money! She's a great saver, but to what end?)
• What you don't know won't hurt you. (Ignorance is not bliss. Uncomfortable as the truth may be, it is your greatest ally in knowing how to make good choices for your life. If you live blind-folded, you're likely to be quite bruised)

Some of these scripts may resonate with you-or your interior loops may be very different. If you're curious to uncover your own scripts, look to what is not working in your life and ask yourself some hard questions about what underlies the problem. Listen to your family and see what scripts are being perpetuated across the generations.

Once you've isolated some of your ingrained script doozies, try this rewriting exercise as a conscious effort to change your thinking.

Cut twice as many strips of blank paper as you have bad scripts. Write each of your own scripts down on a separate strip. Now, one at a time, rewrite the script on a fresh strip of paper. For example, if one of your current life scripts is "No one can have it all," you might rewrite this as "I can have it all with grace and ease."

Now, here's the fun part. Take all of your old scripts and burn them. Really. And the new scripts? To change your story, you must consciously embrace the new words. Stick them around your computer with post-its, take a couple and tape them to your refrigerator, choose one and put a string around your finger to remind you that you're changing your story. Create a structure that invites you remember the new beliefs you have purposely chosen to embrace.

About My Coaching:
As a personal and executive coach, it is my goal to bring dynamic leadership, a compassionate heart and powerful insight to the lives of my coaching clients. I work to help clients identify and pursue what is deeply meaningful in their lives and their businesses, and collaborates with them to transform vague yearnings or explicit goals into realities.

After graduating from Princeton University, I spent almost 20 years as an independent feature film, video and CD ROM producer guiding projects to success. As President of Midwest Film Productions, I honed my skills building productive teams of people, working to intense deadlines, quickly and accurately assessing complex situations and brainstorming and implementing creative solutions. It was during these years that my passion for small businesses emerged.

In my coaching practice I call on my extensive production and business background with the express goal of helping my clients live their lives and create their businesses by design and not default.

I completed my coaches training through the prestigious Coaches Training Institute, completed advanced training and received my certification credential through them as well.

My latest favorite quote: "A goal is a dream with a deadline."

If you are interested in exploring how coaching may be of value to you personally or to your business, I am pleased to offer a ‡ hour complimentary session. Please feel free to give me a call or send me an email.

Contact me:
Dina Silver, CPCC
Pegasus Coaching Group
310-393-8082
dina@pegasuscoachinggroup.com
www.pegasuscoachinggroup.com