“I I have yet to see any problem, however complicated,
which, when you looked at it in the right way,
did not become still more complicated.”

- Paul Anderson

There is an old expression: every path has a puddle. We cannot rely on smooth sailing as a base line for our endeavors. We must expect, anticipate, and be comfortable with the range of problems that dot our horizons at work and at home so that we can put our intelligence and intuition to the job of solving them.

But how many times have you noticed that your best intentions to solve a thorny dilemma with the application of a clever fix fails and you find yourself fixing the very same problem over and over again? If you’ve ever gotten caught in a river eddy that spins you round and round it’s much the same: you must do something different to be released from its hold.

This kind of cycle looks like this—the current state is the problem, the desired state is where you want to be. You take an action that is intended to move you toward the desired state but it keeps you in the same unsatisfactory loop you started out in. To make matters worse, there are often unexpected consequences to your action that actually reinforce the problem!!

Here’s a ‘fixes that fail’ example from my life. My kids leave for school very early in the morning—at 6:50. My daughter drives, taking my son and picking up a friend along the way. I wake up to get breakfast and lunch going—and truth be told, to make sure my tired teens actually WAKE UP! The problem- until very recently- was that they didn’t leave the house on time and I worried that they would be late to school. My daughter had to experiment with every possible outfit in her closet, while my son spent a lot of time looking for things that should have been organized in his backpack the night before. Welcome to my world. Maybe it looks like yours!

So, my very clever solution to the problem was to nag. “Kids, 5 minute,” “Kids, 3 minutes,” “KIDS!! YOU’RE LATE!!” Every day we would go through this predictable routine with my voice rising, tensions in the house building, tempers flaring. Nothing changed. In fact, as I look back on it now, an unintended consequence of my behavior was that my kids came to depend on me to hustle them out in the mornings reinforcing the original problem I was actually trying to eliminate.

All this changed when my husband said “What are you doing?” and pointed out that my behavior was not only unsuccessful but unpleasant. I stepped back—the first essential step to solving a problem – and asked myself what I really wanted. The answer was clear and simple: I wanted my kids to be responsible for getting themselves out the door, on time and without any involvement from me, other than a cheery “have a great day” as they sailed out into the world.

I reasoned that if I was looking for responsibility from them, I needed to let them be their own solution—or failure. My husband suggested I give them a five minute reminder, and then leave the room. ‘What if they’re late?’ I worried. But when I thought it through, it was clear that if they were late it would likely be just once and that they could duke it out among themselves as to where to assign blame.

I am happy to report that it turns out my children do not need me to harangue them in order to get to school on time! And now for the most part, early mornings are pretty calm places at my home. If only all problems resolved with such a simple shift.

Fixes that fail show up everywhere. In our personal lives, our work, our government—you name it. And the most effective strategy, once you’ve identified that you’re in a juicy failure loop, is to step back, and ask your self the following questions:

1. What is the problem I am trying to solve?
2. What is actually occurring?
3. What will it look like when there is a real fix in place?
4. What other options are available to me to solve this problem?

a. Be especially careful as you consider question #4 so that you don’t put another fix in place that spawns unintended and negative consequences. Because everything affects everything else, you may find that there is not a solution that spawns no side effects. So, often you may be looking to fix a problem so that it is truly fixed and the side effects are acceptable to you.

So if you are trying to solve a tough problem, step back for a few minutes and see whether you can uncover a solution that rewards you with this very great freedom: never needing to re-visit this particular problem. Ever.

The best leaders of all, the people know not they exist.
They turn to each other and say ‘We did it ourselves.’
~ Zen Saying

Dina Silver, MCC, is the Principal of Pegasus Coaching Group.

I specialize in leadership coaching working with senior executives and their teams to create great leaders and high impact groups. I have enjoyed success working with technically proficient people who need guidance in developing the interpersonal skills that are essential to effective and compelling leadership.

My background in the entertainment industry as a feature film and interactive game producer effectively assists me in helping leaders develop powerful executive presence so that ideas and challenging initiatives are met with keen interest and excitement. In order to lead, people must be excited to follow!

I have enjoyed trusted advisor status with high performance individuals, teams and organizations, coaching in high tech, entertainment, banking, and marketing.

I hold a B.A. in United States History from Princeton University. I am a Master Certified Coach (MCC) and hold my credentialing through the International Coach Federation. In addition, I am certified in a range of assessment tools including DISC and PIAV, and am an active member of Professional Coaches and Mentors Association (PCMA) and the International Coach Federation (ICF). I am married, have two teenage kids, two fat black cats and live in Santa Monica, CA.

If you are interested in learning more about how my work may be of value to you and your organization, please get in touch. I am happy to offer interested prospects a complimentary and confidential half hour coaching session so you can take me and coaching for a test drive.