Do what you can where you
are with what you've got.
—Theodore Roosevelt

There’s a Sufi story that goes something like this: A master was traveling with one of his disciples. The disciple was in charge of taking care of the camel. Late one night, they came upon a caravan of other travelers and camels. It was the disciple’s duty to tether the camel, but he was tired and didn’t bother about it. He left the camel outside untethered and simply prayed to God. “Please take care of the camel” he said and fell asleep.

In the morning the camel was gone. The master asked “what happened to the camel?” And the disciple said “I don’t know. You should ask God because I asked him to take care of the camel. It is not my responsibility. You are always telling me to trust in God. I clearly asked God to handle this so do not be angry with me.”

And the master said “Trust in God but tether your camel.”

I think the parable describes two truths— that we must proactively do all we can to ensure the success of our ventures and that we must also be willing to embrace outcomes that are out of our control and trump our best thinking and actions.

The story resonates for me when coaching clients point the finger at another department or another person who ‘should have done’ or ‘was responsible for’ or ‘is the cause of this mess we’re in.’ It is convenient to draw a deep trench around our turf and believe that if we’ve done our part, nothing more can be expected. But this raises the slippery question of whether our responsibility really ends with our job description. If other people are not delivering, how can we assist them? What resources do they need—can we spare any? How can we help them succeed?

We must look beyond our own small dominion if we are fully contributing. A belief that ‘the buck stops over there’ must never trump our rigorous questioning of what else we can do to tether the camel. Because in the end, even if someone did fail to deliver, you still need the camel, right?

The tricky part lies in finding a balance between compulsive control (these people are not fun to work for or with!) and a casual belief that it will all work out and what is meant to occur will occur. We must discover and walk the fine line between surrender and engagement.

The capacity to embrace surrender enables us to deal with uncertainty and the harsh and disappointing fact that our best efforts may not succeed. No amount of camel tethering ensures the animal will be there braying and chewing its cud in the morning. On the other hand, an untethered beast will likely wander off.

So how do you walk this very tricky line?

1. The first step is to define the outcome that you hope structure, focus, discipline and camel-tethering will produce.

2. Next look up and down the river of action items that needs to occur to create the outcome you are after. Identify areas of turbulence in the river. Where are the rocks? Which teams/people are either over-burdened, lackluster performers, disinterested parties to your outcome etc. What problems might come up? What’s the fallback?

3. Smooth the water where possible. Head your boat away from rocks that you can see. In situations where an initiative is under-resourced, set against unreasonable timelines and failure to complete is fairly disastrous your options are clearly narrowed. You can only elevate risk to more senior ears and buckle down and hope to inspire others to do the same. And here’s where surrender comes in—you can only do what is possible.

But there are many situations where you can have significant impact beyond your particular scope and help to create a successful outcome. Sometimes tethering your own camel is just not enough.

When you can honestly confirm there is no more you can do, that you have explored your responsibility and the opportunity to assist in as complete and broad a manner as possible, then the camel is tethered. You have truly done what you can and until the curtain goes up on the next act, you can rest.

The best leaders of all, the people know not they exist.
They turn to each other and say ‘We did it ourselves.’
~ Zen Saying

Dina Silver, MCC, is the Principal of Pegasus Coaching Group.

I specialize in leadership coaching working with senior executives and their teams to create great leaders and high impact groups. I have enjoyed success working with technically proficient people who need guidance in developing the interpersonal skills that are essential to effective and compelling leadership.

My background in the entertainment industry as a feature film and interactive game producer effectively assists me in helping leaders develop powerful executive presence so that ideas and challenging initiatives are met with keen interest and excitement. In order to lead, people must be excited to follow!

I have enjoyed trusted advisor status with high performance individuals, teams and organizations, coaching in high tech, entertainment, banking, and marketing.

I hold a B.A. in United States History from Princeton University. I am a Master Certified Coach (MCC) and hold my credentialing through the International Coach Federation. In addition, I am certified in a range of assessment tools including DISC and PIAV, and am an active member of Professional Coaches and Mentors Association (PCMA) and the International Coach Federation (ICF). I am married, have two teenage kids, two fat black cats and live in Santa Monica, CA.

If you are interested in learning more about how my work may be of value to you and your organization, please get in touch. I am happy to offer interested prospects a complimentary and confidential half hour coaching session so you can take me and coaching for a test drive.