There is absolutely nothing like a true friend-someone who knows and loves you despite your faults. Someone with whom silence is comfortable. Someone who can tell you an uncomfortable truth about yourself-and you sit up and listen knowing that the message comes from love.

Aristotle said that a true friend is "one soul in two bodies." By that reckoning we are lucky to find that connection with just a few people over the course of our entire lifetimes.

Given how precious these relationships are, the frequency with which people hurt or betray someone dear is astonishing. We are often willing to take a short-term gain and risk the whole friendship.

This month's newsletter is an invitation to deeply consider what kind of a friend you choose to be.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.

He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white, stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. They climbed to the top of a long hill and found themselves standing before a magnificent gate in a beautiful arch. The street that led to the gate was pure gold. The man and the dog walked toward the gate and saw a man at a desk.

"Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man at the desk answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in and I'll have some ice water brought right up."
"Can my friend come in too?" the traveler asked, pointing to his dog.
"I'm sorry sir, but we don't accept pets," came the disappointing reply.

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued on his way. His dog trotted calmly at his side.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, they came to a dirt road, which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As the man and his dog approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" He called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure. There's a pump over there"
"How about my friend here?" said the traveler pointing to his dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump" came the reply.

The man and dog went through the gate to the old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some water to the dog.

When they were full, the man and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" asked the traveler.
"This is Heaven" was the reply.
"Well that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was heaven too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'd leave their best friends behind."

With my client's permission, let me share this story. I'd been coaching a guy—we'll call him Bob—for a couple of months. Bob was an audio engineer and ran those complex mixing boards you see in recording studios or post-production film houses. He'd been on a challenging job hunt for about 4 months and hadn't had much success. He was running through his savings at a fast clip and was feeling deflated, depressed and not a little panicked about what the future held.

One day Bob came to our coaching call really excited. I hadn't ever heard his voice sound this alive. The energy was palpable. I was all ears. Here's what Bob told me:

"I was chatting with this buddy of mine, Evan, who's an engineer too. Actually with the slowdown in the film biz, we've both been mostly unemployed this last year. So, Evan mentions to me that this guy we both know is starting up a production studio and has asked Evan to help him launch the business. Help with the marketing, set up the sound board. The works. I am so jealous I can hardly think straight. Man, I know so much more about running a business than Evan. I ran my own business before I got into audio. And you know how much I need the work, right? So want I want to coach about is how I can call this guy, pitch my skills to him and not piss off Evan."

"So let me get this straight" I replied. "You want your friend's job, you're willing to go behind his back and you don't want him to be mad."

Well, that pretty much took the wind out of Bob's sails. You see, he's a good guy. He has a conscience. He cares about his friend. He doesn't want to betray his own values. But in his desperation to land a job, he lost sight of the bigger picture of who he is and of how he wants to be—even in an agonizing job hunt.

We coached around an alternative approach and Bob decided to talk to Evan directly and pitch the idea that the two of them work together to launch the facility. And Evan, who had no marketing experience, thought this was a great idea. So they pitched a team approach to the entrepreneur—and now Evan and Bob are busily growing a business—together.

About My Coaching:
As a personal and executive coach, it is my goal to bring dynamic leadership, a compassionate heart and powerful insight to the lives of my coaching clients. I work to help clients identify and pursue what is deeply meaningful in their lives and their businesses, and collaborates with them to transform vague yearnings or explicit goals into realities.

After graduating from Princeton University, I spent almost 20 years as an independent feature film, video and CD ROM producer guiding projects to success. As President of Midwest Film Productions, I honed my skills building productive teams of people, working to intense deadlines, quickly and accurately assessing complex situations and brainstorming and implementing creative solutions. It was during these years that my passion for small businesses emerged.

In my coaching practice I call on my extensive production and business background with the express goal of helping my clients live their lives and create their businesses by design and not default.

I completed my coaches training through the prestigious Coaches Training Institute, completed advanced training and received my certification credential through them as well.

My latest favorite quote: "A goal is a dream with a deadline."

If you are interested in exploring how coaching may be of value to you personally or to your business, I am pleased to offer a ‡ hour complimentary session. Please feel free to give me a call or send me an email.

Contact me:
Dina Silver, CPCC
Pegasus Coaching Group
310-393-8082
dina@pegasuscoachinggroup.com
http://www.pegasuscoachinggroup.com/