If you’re receiving this newsletter, it’s likely that you live an extremely privileged life by the standards of most humans on the planet. For starters, since my newsletter is electronic, we know you have a computer. If you have a computer either at work or at home, we can conclude at a minimum that you are either employed or not homeless. In all likelihood you are both employed and have a place to lay your head every night. So that probably also means that you have plenty to eat, clothes on your back, friends to grab an occasional coffee with, a cell phone they can reach you on when they’re running late. You probably even enjoy an occasional holiday that allows you to step out of your daily life and rest, explore, read, or travel. Now here’s my $60,000 question: do you more often feel grateful for what you already have or anxious that what you have does not match what you want and feel you deserve?

Recently, I read about a scientific experiment on pigeons that really made me think long and hard about the impact of entitlement on a person’s flexibility, comfort with adversity and overall spirit of joy in life. Scientists took two groups of pigeons and put half in cage A and half in cage B. In cage A there was a red button and a green button. Pecking on the red button never yielded a thing. Pecking at the green button always yielded a tasty morsel, and as you can imagine, the pigeons in cage A were pretty happy campers, pecking away at the green button every waking moment. In cage B, there was a red button and a green button too. Once again, the red button was a dead-end, never delivering a thing. The green button, however, was programmed a little differently. In cage B, depressing the green button randomly delivered food. The pigeons in cage B had no problem with this scenario, ignoring the red button, and pecking away at the green button ‘knowing’ that if they kept at it, a treat would be delivered eventually. Now the part of the experiment that really gave me pause was this final step: The scientists took the pigeons from cage A—the one’s who barely had to lift a beak to be rewarded – and put them in an empty cage B to see how these pigeons would adapt to a situation where effort did not necessarily yield reward. And here’s the shocking part: the Cage A pigeons were unable to adapt. Not only that, they actually flipped out, squawking, and banging their heads against the bars of the cage.

I think there are two lessons we can learn from this pigeon experiment, and one has to do with red lights, and one with green ones. All the pigeons were able to discern that the red button was a waste of time. They all tried for a while, and then had the good sense to give up and turn their attention elsewhere. A lot of us could learn something from these birds! How often have you doggedly pecked away at a red button in your life, wasting time, resources and energy? I coach people all the time who have become so wedded to a poor or failed idea, that nothing can dissuade them from continuing. They rest certain in the conviction that there must be some small tweak that when discovered, will turn their long efforts into unbridled success. The truth is, some buttons will never yield success and our lives are essentially on perma-freeze until that information sinks in. We need to turn our beaks in another direction and move on to peck at buttons that deliver nourishment and success. You might take a moment right now to scan your life and confirm that there are no areas where the greater wisdom is to let go and move on. As for the green lights, the pigeons teach us something very profound about entitlement. The pigeons that enjoyed a cushy, practically effortless life, were unable to adapt to a life where effort was required and where good effort didn’t always yield success. I think humans often show the same weaknesses: when we are accustomed to ease and plenty, our muscles of drive, focus and good old elbow grease often atrophy. We lose touch with and may even begin to resent the value of a tough challenge. And then, when we are thrown into rough waters—a job hunt, an economic downturn, a shocking financial reversal— we may be truly unprepared to swim. So, if the choice were mine, though cage A where the green button always yields treasure sounds mighty tempting, I would choose a life that more closely resembles cage B. I’ll put my money on the richness derived from a life where sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, and the key to continued success rests in staying focused, flexible and grateful.