The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make
heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven.
--John Milton

Interesting work is usually pretty challenging. Part of what makes the work captivating to us is that our intellects are stretched regularly and the learning curve is steep. While me may fumble, and wrestle with feelings of incompetence as we step into fresh challenges, we expect them – they are part of the package. We take a breath, ask for help when we’re over our heads, talk ourselves down from the ledge when we’re not so sure we’re up to the task, and work hard to find a way to create success for ourselves and our companies. In general, we expect that hard work and dedication will deliver good results to our companies and customers and that we will have gained something personally—knowledge, fortitude, technical skills, through the process.

But what do you do when the environment you are in makes it almost impossible for you to create success? I have worked with many people at a variety of companies where the sheer fortitude required to keep showing up at work each morning deserves a gold medal of its own! No organization intends its most valuable asset—its employees – to suffer, and yet in many occasions that is exactly what is true. I have worked with people who feel burdened and demoralized by: endless churn in process and personnel; resources so insufficient to the task that attempting the challenge feels more like science fiction than reality; schedules pruned unrealistically against drop dead delivery dates and expectations that staff will sacrifice personal lives in favor of the organization’s bottom-line needs.

So what’s a committed employee to do? What do you do when your company is struggling and you’re holding the short end of the stick? Or when you can’t find a way to improve your situation because the problem is far outside your sphere of influence and noone with clout is fighting your fight? How can you maintain a sense of calm, purpose and enjoyment in a stormy environment? Is it worth it?

The most fundamental thing to remember is that your best ally is your attitude. Of course you always have the choice to leave a job that is unsatisfying. But more profoundly, every one of us can choose how we wish to be in any situation. We can choose to complain, suffer and be diminished by circumstance or we can choose to look reality in the eye and stop hemorrhaging our energy in ineffective and repetitive ways. Don’t get me wrong -- I’m not saying this is easy!

I am advocating neither the rose colored glasses approach to life where we pretend that something bad is actually good, nor the ostrich approach where we hide our heads in the sand and hope that the bad stuff will go away. Most of us have tried these two approaches at one time or another and neither one creates a satisfying and successful way to handle the slings and arrows of truly challenging situations.

There is a famous Zen aphorism: Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Pain comes to us by way of external events. It is completely outside of our control. Suffering, on the other hand, is a choice. It is self created and we can let it rule our every waking moment or not. What is suffering? It is not getting what we want. It is getting what we do not want. We suffer when things are different from the way we want them to be.

Successful careers build from a capability to look at the truth squarely and then deal with it. If you work for a company where you and your team regularly suffer because resources are scant and you have campaigned vigorously to alter the situation, it is intelligent to recognize this is standard operating procedure for your organization and accommodate to it or leave the job. If you let anger, disappointment and frustration overwhelm you each and every time the same circumstance occurs, then you have become a victim and you are merely digging a deeper hole for yourself.

If you like the work that you do but find that a good chunk of your time is taking up by agitation and disappointment that things aren’t different, then take a few minutes to identify exactly what is making you nuts. If you can effect change in that area, work hard to do that. If you have tried repeatedly and unsuccessfully to alter the situation, then you have to make a choice: do I stay at this job with a healthy attitude and commitment to learning and growth despite a broken process/impossible manager/you fill in the blank, or do I leave?

If you cannot find a way not to suffer, then make a change. Staying and complaining and feeling bad on a regular basis is really no option at all.

The best leaders of all, the people know not they exist.
They turn to each other and say ‘We did it ourselves.’
~ Zen Saying

Dina Silver, MCC, is the Principal of Pegasus Coaching Group.

I specialize in leadership coaching working with senior executives and their teams to create great leaders and high impact groups. I have enjoyed success working with technically proficient people who need guidance in developing the interpersonal skills that are essential to effective and compelling leadership.

My background in the entertainment industry as a feature film and interactive game producer effectively assists me in helping leaders develop powerful executive presence so that ideas and challenging initiatives are met with keen interest and excitement. In order to lead, people must be excited to follow!

I have enjoyed trusted advisor status with high performance individuals, teams and organizations, coaching in high tech, entertainment, banking, and marketing.

I hold a B.A. in United States History from Princeton University. I am a Master Certified Coach (MCC) and hold my credentialing through the International Coach Federation. In addition, I am certified in a range of assessment tools including DISC and PIAV, and am an active member of Professional Coaches and Mentors Association (PCMA) and the International Coach Federation (ICF). I am married, have two teenage kids, two fat black cats and live in Santa Monica, CA.

If you are interested in learning more about how my work may be of value to you and your organization, please get in touch. I am happy to offer interested prospects a complimentary and confidential half hour coaching session so you can take me and coaching for a test drive.