In honor of this season when we’re so frequently reminded to be grateful for all that is good in our lives, there’s also a case to be made for being thankful for the challenges that surround us. We spend so much time in our lives trying to avoid the bumps and potholes that we may be shrinking from the very medicine that will make us stronger, more capable and more confident.

There’s a wonderful parable about a new mother who is out in her garden enjoying a few precious moments of calm while her baby sleeps. Her eye is caught by the gentle movement of a nearby cocoon and she goes to investigate. She discovers she is witnessing the birth of a new butterfly and stands back in awe. But soon the movement stops. The young woman, fearing that the butterfly has become overwhelmed by the challenge of squeezing through the tiny hole at the tip of the cocoon, gently pries the opening larger so that the new butterfly can emerge more easily. On its next effort, the butterfly squeezes out easily. But the young woman’s joy is short-lived as she realizes the butterfly’s wings are shriveled and useless. Her well-intentioned effort to make things easier has actually destroyed the delicate creature by bypassing a key natural process. Forcing the butterfly to greet the world by way of massive struggle through a tiny outlet is nature’s way of ensuring that blood from the butterfly’s body is forced to its wings.

Every bone in our bodies encourages us to side step the hard stuff. If we can find a way around a looming challenge, we pat ourselves on the back and continue on our merry path. But, like the butterfly’s cocoon, some struggles hold the key to continued growth and success and we’re better served by embracing them than by running for cover. There are two litmus tests you can apply to confirm whether a challenge requires your embrace or not. 1. The same challenge keeps popping up again and again. Let’s say you are a lawyer in solo practice and the bulk of your work involves assisting a Spanish speaking clientele on immigration issues. You never learned to speak much Spanish, but frankly it wasn’t a problem since until recently this client base represented a very small fraction of your business. You continue to work around your language deficit by hiring translators and persuade yourself that you just don’t have the time necessary to learn Spanish. You notice that you are losing a growing percentage of new clients to the lawyer down the street who is bi-lingual. In this instance, the cocoon through which our lawyer must squeeze is the effort to master a new language. If he doesn’t, the writing is clearly on the wall and he will continue to lose prospects to his competition. There are alternative solutions to learning Spanish: the lawyer might make an alliance with a Spanish-speaking attorney or he might choose to shift the focus of his practice away from an area of weakness by developing and nurturing a new niche. But one way or another, his competence in Spanish comes up consistently. He must address this challenge head-on or welcome a shrinking legal practice. 2. You are scared to meet the challenge directly. When you can identify that fear is holding you back from meeting a daunting challenge, you must call on your courage (or manufacture courage from whole cloth!) and step up to the plate. Do not let your fear keep you small! I coached a woman who had developed an innovative way for her company to sell its product into consumer channels. By nature she was a shy and retiring person, more comfortable behind the scenes than in a highly visible role. She was terrified to present her idea and run the risk of ridicule that she felt would ensue if her idea were poorly received. Though she was scared to become so visible, she was ultimately more frightened to remain invisible and unappreciated at work. So she screwed up her courage and made a formal sales presentation to her team and manager in which she outlined her concept. Though in the end her clever idea wasn’t adopted, my client had broken through her own imaginary force field. She began presenting fresh new ideas on a regular basis, and within the year was promoted. There is an old Chinese proverb that says “A gem cannot be polished without friction nor a man perfected without trials.” So take a close look at the challenges you may be valiantly trying to conquer by way of avoidance and try a different tactic. Lean into the adversity, embrace the learning and growth with relish and don’t be surprised if challenge and adversity begin to sparkle and glow like the gemstones they so often are.